Mind-numblingly brilliant (or baffling) football quotes

[Gianni Infantino]

We all love a quote don't we? Some are the result of a brilliantly unsophisticated manager or player trying to be a wordsmith, the others are just the results of a mong somehow being given a national platform on which to give his opinions. With the latter mentioned, I'll open things up. This one is one we all love.

I was speaking to my uncle Ben on Saturday and said that Aaron Ramsey was almost certain to be the unanimous choice for footballer of the year. He took the glass of champagne out of my hand and said: 'You mean Wayne Rooney, don't you?' I told him that he had made a very good point and promptly went home.

[rufussmalls]

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."

Eric Cantona

[Olivier]

"Statistics are just like mini-skirts, they give you good ideas but hide the most important thing" - Ebbe Skovdahl

[Deleted]

"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there."

"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball, he might grab mine."


Love watching Brian Clough interviews man. Superb at making the interviewer feel like the most incompetent person in the world on the regsssss


Ian Holloway (describing a win over Chesterfield) - “To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee.”

[wf4v3ry]

"If you look at the game and take the goals out of it then we're probably the dominant side"
Graham Westley following Stevenage's 4-0 defeat at Colchester.

[xabi]

Mark Viduka

“I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."

[Бенне]

Feb 8, 2014 17:10:53 GMT wf4v3ry said:

"If you look at the game and take the goals out of it then we're probably the dominant side"
Graham Westley following Stevenage's 4-0 defeat at Colchester.

I was going to say that one ffs, hahaha

[Toonami]

‘Beautiful, young eggs,’ clucked the Chelsea manager, quick to embrace the role of Mother Hen and remind everyone that this young team does not yet compare in stature to the one he left behind in 2007. Wednesday night's team will include four players aged 22 and under.
‘They are eggs that need a mum or, in this case, a dad to take care of them, to keep them warm during the winter, to bring the blanket and work and improve them,’ added Mourinho.
‘One day the moment will arrive when the weather changes, the sun rises, you break the eggs and the eggs are ready to go for life at the top level.’ The Eggsceptional One smiled, pleased with himself, and his audience chuckled approvingly. Wednesday is six years to the day since the final game of his first spell at Chelsea, a 1-1 draw at home against Rosenborg.
It’s all about omelettes and eggs,’ said Mourinho on the eve of the Rosenborg game. ‘You have eggs Class One, Class Two and Class Three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the Class One eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.’

[Gianni Infantino]

"I've out tactic'd 'im" - Sam Allardyce on out tacticking Jose Mourinho.

[#FreeBTS]

I WOULD LOVE IT IF WE BEAT THEM

[#FreeBTS]

LOVE IT

[Mick]

Its a penalty. Piss Off

Its a penalty. Oh Fuck off

[Mycon]

For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are playing in yellow.

[Deleted]

well played #FreeBTS, genuinely lol'd

[JM]

"I'm no wheeler dealer, I'm a facking football manager, fack off"