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Post by ange postecoslamp on Mar 24, 2014 23:22:38 GMT
Since it's apparently tradition now for everyone to dump their problems on here in order to save face in front of their real friends I thought I'd share mine.
I was diagnosed with type II bipolar disorder (means I don't have full-on psychotic episodes but still suffer from a flip between hypomania and extreme depressive episodes) when I was 14 and have been trying to cope with more and more stress in my life ever since. They say life begins at 40, but one in five of all bipolar sufferers commit suicide before that age. Right now I'm going through a tough period involving a bit of everything from struggles at uni, discord at home and a recent re-accquaintance with my ex girlfriend which came to its inevitable, painful collision about a week ago.
My irl mates would all call me a melt cos when I'm not spending weeks at a time shut in the house considering topping myself I'm actually quite the #topLAD and as such none of my friends are aware of a middle ground between being perfectly mentally sound and riding the Sunshine Bus, so I figured I'd share with a slightly more understanding community who have been quite frankly an embarrassingly big part of my life recently. You nobs.
tl;dr coslamp is sad cheer him up and/or share your own problems in here for mutual moral support and so GTS can call us all loser virgins
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Post by Maskya Yoshida on Mar 24, 2014 23:27:25 GMT
It could be worse, you could be Stu.
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Post by The Quito Diet on Mar 24, 2014 23:32:10 GMT
My contribution to this topic is that I'm half asleep and thought it said Barclays Premier League and you'd done another witty write up and about three lines in I was confused as fuck.
Far too many things for me to list and I'm sure I've hinted upon several of them previously but yeah, I have a phobia of sickness that developed into an outright anxiety which has since spread to several things, would say at times I've been bordering on depressed too but luckily have quite a stable support network.
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sween
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Post by sween on Mar 24, 2014 23:35:58 GMT
if it helps then i think you're funny as fuck
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Star of Spurs
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alcohol and night swimming
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Post by Star of Spurs on Mar 24, 2014 23:41:17 GMT
you're one of my favourite internet people fwiw
but yeah bi-polar sucks, my ma has it. my family doesn't exactly have the best history with mental health
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Post by Gianni Infantino on Mar 24, 2014 23:44:19 GMT
I don't actually have a problem like this myself, but I know my mum has definitely shown signs like this recently. All started around Christmas when after months of getting excited for it she suddenly couldn't be arsed, she spent the entire Christmas/New Year period utterly lifeless. She hid herself away from everyone and refused to see family.
She had a few days out of the entire two, three weeks actually seeming genuinely happy but then she'd slide right back down. I'd pretty much worked out that she was at least depressed but I didn't think bipolar could be so rapidly changing. It's affected me a lot, I've stopped going to uni, I'm always anxious at home around the time she finishes work because my mind always goes to the worst with her.
My dad hasn't helped, constantly asking her what's wrong and not even having a bit of a grasp of mental health issues. Wasn't until I snapped at him the other week and told him to lay off her that he actually began to see the point. He's always someone who'll take the piss a bit and she's always been welcoming of it but recently I can tell it's affecting her so I've been backing her up on everything whether I agree with her or not.
I said to her a month or so ago that she needed to go and see someone because she has a problem which she kept denying, and she's finally going to tomorrow, so at least she's welcoming the fact she has a serious problem and hopefully we can get her some proper professional support because I can only do as much as I know. But it's tough trying to balance uni, work, preparing to leave the country at the end of the year with my mum in this state and with her actually being this way.
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Star of Spurs
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alcohol and night swimming
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Post by Star of Spurs on Mar 24, 2014 23:46:17 GMT
also i think it's great that people get their problems out on here, i know it's massively difficult to talk to irl friends out of possible want to save face which i totally get, it's why i refused to tell any of my friends i wasn't good for many months (but tbh if you're lying to people about serious issues out of fear they'll judge you you probably don't want them in your life anyway and in my experience the people i most wanted support from i got support from) and sometimes you just want a context-less board to throw stuff out at
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Post by Gianni Infantino on Mar 24, 2014 23:49:51 GMT
Only reason I wouldn't tell my mates is that they're fucking idiots who would rather stick to stereotypes and loose terms than actually educate themselves. If I tell them my mum's "depressed" they think of depression as being a bit upset.
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Post by ange postecoslamp on Mar 25, 2014 0:39:15 GMT
if it helps then i think you're funny as fuck It actually does, a huge part of the bipolar is a pretty intense paranoia about the way others view me which can be very self-destructive. I frequently convince myself that none of my friends actually like me off tiny insignificant cues. For example I think @djed called me a mong in an irc about 2 years ago and I'm still convinced to this day that he doesn't like me lul. The fact that I even remember that is actually very indicative of the damaging way my mind works. Gianni Infantino bear this in mind as well, if it is bipolar she'll likely be feeling isolated and unwanted so even little things like mentioning how much you appreciate her can be really helpful from experience.
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AlexC
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Post by AlexC on Mar 25, 2014 2:30:08 GMT
I love you CosLamp
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danielt
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Post by danielt on Mar 25, 2014 2:52:35 GMT
I like the cut of your jib LampCos
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#FreeBTS
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Post by #FreeBTS on Mar 25, 2014 3:17:06 GMT
you're a good guy who gives me easy wins on quiz up, you're fine by me
while not anywhere near on this level i'm doing much better than i was a couple of months or so back, still get quite homesick though, and have serious doubts over whether i'm doing what i actually want to be at uni
edit: apart from my itchy nob of course, but this is boring serious topics, not light hilarious tales of me being screwed by cunts (quite literally, waay)
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notpropaganda
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Post by notpropaganda on Mar 25, 2014 4:50:55 GMT
We're all #toplads
My mum's an alcoholic. She's been sober nearly 2 years now - as far as I know anyway. It was a huge shock to the system when I was told. Years ago, at like funerals and that, she'd get hammered and there's a history of alcohol abuse in the family. Anyways, after one funeral I remember she was "giving up the drink", but I never thought of it as Mum having a problem, I just thought she wanted to give it up. Couple years pass and apparently loadsa shit is happening in th background - I never noticed seeing as I was at uni all the time. Hard to describe but I'm from the backarse of nowhere, and Mum probably felt really isolated as Dad used to spend 90% of his time in Dublin working. So Mum would just be at home alone, and inevitably turned to the drink.
Anyway it all came out in the open when my sister was living at home for a year and saw the extent of the problem and decided enough was enough. I felt quite a lot of bitterness towards my Dad at the time which has eased off. She's doing well now, lost 3 stone in a year and is overall looking really healthy. Dad doesn't work in Dublin as often either so in that way I do trust that she's sober. Part of me though just can't trust it 100%, which is a sad, sad thing.
Then on Dad's side of things we might be losing our house. My aunt (Dad's sister) passed away last year (fucking cancer). A long story, but after some potential insurance issues and fear of losing the house Dad had signed the deeds over to my auntie about 10 years ago. My aunt was a really straightforward woman, and her wiill reflected that. It literally said:
1. I leave the house in Meenacladdy (my area) to Cathal (my Dad) and family.
2. Everything else is to be left to my mother.
3. If my mother passes before me everything is to be left to my brothers and sisters, split evenly 5 ways.
Anyway.. Dad has 2 other sisters and 2 other brothers. One of the brothers is in a home as he needs constant care, physically, but mentally he's fine. His other brother is a cunt. One sister is a cunt and the other is a nice woman but with everything that's happened I dunno. Basically, the two cunts created a new will, in January 2013, 2 month before Peggy (my aunt) died. Peggy had lung cancer which spread to her brain. The new will said that her house in Dublin would be sold and split between the 5 siblings. Then it said some bullshit about the original homestead being left to the cunt brother (completely illegal as that house wasn't Peggys to give). And finally the rest of her estate (including our house) to be split between the two cunts and the other sister. So for some reason Peggy completely changes her will to pretty much exclude 2 brothers, why?!
Anyway, Dad's been fighting it and he thinks the two cunts created the will to get their greedy fucking hands on more money, and they didn't know that our house was in Peggys name. But now they DO know, and they refuse to back down. Dad's been gathering info from Peggys oncologist, the solicitor who drafted the new will and the hospice where Peggy was when the new will was signed. To be honest if it ever got to court I think Dad would win but he can't afford the legal costs. So he's trying to gather the info and present it to the other sister who he thinks is the most reasonable and just doesn't know the extent of what's going on. Like one of the suggestions in all of this was "why can't you just get another mortgage and buy the house". Seriously like. Here, 60 year old man with no full time work or savings to speak of, have a mortgage. That'll fucking work. Plus the principle like, why don't you get a mortgage to buy your own fucking house back.
Anyway, the real sad part of this is that last year I buried an auntie and lost a part of my family. Since then, I've lost 2 cunts as family, and no love lost there. Sadder than that though is it's like I've lost all my cousins as well. There's no scenario that I forsee me ever being able to speak to them again, at least not like I would have in the past. So it's like grieving for about 20 people in terms of - they're not gonna be in my life any more.
On top of all this is the guilt that I'm not at home. When I went back home in February, I felt like Dad had aged about 10 years. He looked drained and when he was telling me and my sister what was happening he was in tears and I've only ever seen hom cry once and that was when his mum died. And it's not like me being there would help or change anything but yeah, I feel guilty. And I can't articulate that to my girlfriend because any time I do try and talk about this situation she just jumps in with questions before letting me finish and I kinda snap at her and then she snaps and it turns into something else entirely. And she says I'm a private person and she knows I don't wanna talk about it but I do want to talk about, I need to fucking talk about it. And I have talked with some mates like really close mates and obviously talked with my sisters as well which is great but it's on my mind a lot.
Anyway. tl;dr My mum's a sober alco and Dad's getting his house robbed by his brother and sister. The two cunts.
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cl7
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Post by cl7 on Mar 25, 2014 8:01:31 GMT
I also think you're funny as fuck. put my attempt at a write up this week to shame but in all seriousness it does suck not having an irl group of friends you can rely on for things like these. I'm a bit younger that the rest here but still in the same bracket , and it really is pretty rare that young men our age can understand and be supportive with basically anything serious. this site is genuinely the first group of people I've found that actually can.
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#FreeBTS
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Post by #FreeBTS on Mar 25, 2014 8:26:41 GMT
I couldn't ever blame my irl friends for not wanting to deal with any of this though, I can't say I would be comfortable dealing with any of this if one of them came to me. I'd try obviously, but I'd feel uncomfortable and I'm sure they would if it was the other way round too. A bit sad I guess but true.
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