Taking the wheels off the banter bus

[Blue Moon]

It's 2030, and with her dying breath the queen calls for people to be punished for the crime of 'banter'. At first the British public are slow to embrace this, mainly thanks to critique from the likes of The Sun and Talksport, but newly elected president of UK Harry Styles, who has now gone full Keith Richards, decides to push forward with this plan, and a court is quickly assembled. This court features members of the biggest hardware site and internet forum in the world, Soccer Nerd Central! (which will definitely still be going in 17 years, never mind a month, so piss off dynacunt)

So, the questions to be answered:

• Who do we want on trial?
• Why do we them punished? What crimes against basic decency have they committed?
• How should they be punished? President Styles has decreed that to show off our superior wit, simple executions or jail sentences won't do, so get creative up in this bitch.
• In a shocking twist of events, can we nominate one of our own? I've heard Maskya Yoshida fancies himself as a Robin Bant Persie.

Firstly I put forward Tim Lovejoy, for years of horrific abuse on our screens, particularly on Soccer AM. Of all the dickheads who have angered me on that show, he stands head and shoulders above them as the biggest twat of the lot.

[ic]

You

[Blue Moon]

i bloody knew that was coming

[Cashis]

Robin Bant Persie looool

The maker(s) of the Lad Bible - bit obvious but a definite pet hate of mine.

[Maskya Yoshida]

People who play rugby.

[Cashis]

Dec 16, 2013 10:26:51 GMT @mikecfc said:

Dec 16, 2013 9:37:20 GMT Cashis said:

Robin Bant Persie looool

The maker(s) of the Lad Bible - bit obvious but a definite pet hate of mine.

I follow the Lad Bible on twitter. Some of the pictures they post are jokes. Why you hating? Is it their overuse of #LAD?

The way they stick LAD on the end of every word in an attempt to make something funny. the way they constantly say "these worldies will cure your hangover LADS" and post pics of women like that's actually gonna do owt. Just things that constantly make me cringe.

Oh and how could I forget, prefacing every semi-naked selfie with "you know you've got a winner when..."

They do have some amusing pictures to be fair which is why I haven't unfollowed them.

[Cashis]

Dec 16, 2013 10:28:15 GMT Maskya Yoshida said:

People who play rugby.

Rugby lads are vile. There's having a laugh and then there's Rugby lads who verge on homosexual (not that that's a bad thing but just come out and stop hiding behind 'banter').

[ange postecoslamp]

KSI

HESKEY IS BIG AND BLACK I AM ALSO BLACK THEREFORE THIS IS FUNNY. HESKEY.

[danielbuggery]

Paddy Power. The Number 1 offender of this atrocity in the television medium.

And ditto to the Rugby folk... loud and obnoxious in every pub and club I've ever been in, have weird/disgusting mannerisms, reek of narcissism yet girls fawn over them then they openly brag about shagging them to other people cos theyre LADS ON TOUR BOIZZZZ

[Shinra]

I have no idea what this is all about

[Cashis]

Dec 16, 2013 13:59:20 GMT Shinra said:

I have no idea what this is all about

Really? Seems pretty self-explanatory to me!

[Deleted]

Agree that everyone involved on Soccer AM is a twat (except Rocket, and ESPECIALLY Tubes, fat prick) but Tim Lovejoy isn't a twat.

Sunday Brunch >>>> Soccer AM and Lovejoy's show on BT Sport also pisses on it.

[Shinra]

The definition of banter just seems really ambiguous and that everyone including everyone here is guilty of it. Can you please explain what it means to you.

[Deleted]

For me it means when the word 'banter' is said, I cringe to bits.

[Shinra]

Yeah I just guessed it was a wool thing tbh. Nobody from here would be caught dead using the term