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Post by ange postecoslamp on Mar 23, 2014 19:26:19 GMT
Hold onto your hats and prepare your best facts about Hugo Sanchez you just read on his wikipedia page, it's time for every football hipster's biannual fiesta de la masturbación, it's El Clásico... BUT WITH A TWIST.
Today's twist is that if Lionel Messi scores he will surpass Alexis Sanchez's aforementioned long lost brother as La Liga's number 2 all-time goalscorer. It's a heartwarming story that begins with Little Leo aged 14, growing up in the slums when one day his life changed and he went on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire where he miraculously told Indian Chris Tarrant all the right answers and decided to do the most charitable thing possible with his new found riches by fucking off to somewhere where all the mattresses weren't full of tetanus and that somewhere was Barcelona. Then he took loads of steroids and scored 233 goals in one year.
Second highest goalscorer really isn't a proper accolade but he's only another 18 behind Telmo Zarra, who sounds like a South American mobile phone company, so he'll likely claim the #1 spot on Wednesday when Barca beat Celta Vigo 26-0.
Real Madrid are good too, but none of them grew up somewhere shitty only to go on to earn loads of money scoring sweet 40 yard volleys so here is a picture of Iniesta with hair instead
SOCCER
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Post by Heung-Min Pleat on Mar 23, 2014 19:29:21 GMT
hey bale grew up somewhere shitty
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Post by ange postecoslamp on Mar 23, 2014 19:32:22 GMT
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Post by The Quito Diet on Mar 23, 2014 19:36:15 GMT
Imagine the Bernabeu's atmosphere if they actually had loud and passionate fans instead of people who just whistle when their team isn't in possession.
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Post by Heung-Min Pleat on Mar 23, 2014 19:36:38 GMT
also i am led to believe that esteemed madrid defender pepe grew up in an ecuadorian tribe, from a young age partaking in local rituals 'remove the woman', 'destroy the white one' and 'ready steady cook children' this is why he has the perplexed yet evil look of an animal rapist and has a face that even his ecuadorian warlord mother would like to see smouldering in a 500° blaze of evil fire
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Post by ange postecoslamp on Mar 23, 2014 19:48:11 GMT
bloody hell, santiago solari
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Post by Gianni Infantino on Mar 23, 2014 19:53:42 GMT
"Something like"
He says after they mention that exact stat. You big fraud.
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shaunie
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Post by shaunie on Mar 23, 2014 19:54:01 GMT
Think everyone realises how good he has been tbh
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cl7
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Post by cl7 on Mar 23, 2014 19:57:18 GMT
mon Madrid
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sween
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Post by sween on Mar 23, 2014 20:01:31 GMT
coslamps write ups are amazing
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shaunie
Regular
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Post by shaunie on Mar 23, 2014 20:01:56 GMT
Would like to see Barca winning because how often is there only one point separating the 3 teams at the top of the table with 9 games left? And especially in La Liga. A Barca win also suits Atletico more and I'd prefer them to win the league ahead of the other two.
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Stu
Talisman
#SparkysOnFire
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Post by Stu on Mar 23, 2014 20:05:00 GMT
ronaldo being a greedy cunt already
hope bale scores instead of laying it for a ronaldo tap in
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sween
Key Player
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Team: sunderland
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Post by sween on Mar 23, 2014 20:07:42 GMT
great finish
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cl7
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Post by cl7 on Mar 23, 2014 20:08:25 GMT
ffs, class goal
decent start
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Stu
Talisman
#SparkysOnFire
Posts: 16,089
Likes: 4,598
Team: Southampton
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Post by Stu on Mar 23, 2014 20:09:02 GMT
fu barca :@
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