|
Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 10:18:45 GMT
Betting odds (to qualify); Spain 20/27 Netherlands 9/4 Chile 4/1 Australia 33/1
Summary; Again, a group which is expected to have a runaway winner and a tight battle for second. Spain have a plethora of talents across the pitch but, having swept up the last three international tournaments, it would be almost unthinkable for them to win four on the trot, especially given the years without a trophy that would be enough to send even Arsene el loco. The battle for second should be fun to watch unfold, especially given the last fixture pits the two teams against each other. Netherlands who as usual are extremely unpredictable are currently expected to pip the outsiders pick Chile to qualify. Straylya have no chance, but should feel at home with bbq's on the beach surrounded by mass crime and slums.
|
|
|
Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 10:19:08 GMT
Spain. Who doesn’t like Spain? A nation of bull-fighting, lazy pissheads that think nothing of fucking off work in the afternoon for a hearty plate of paella whatever that is. No wonder any twat with a passport is itching to spend their dole savings on a week’s all inclusive in Benidorm. Despite this, Spain currently hold the number 1 ranking in FIFA’s rankings and are the holders of the World Cup despite the best efforts of Nigel de Jong who finally managed to earn his white belt after years of grading failures. We’d better start with the goalkeepers. Iker Casillas is probably one of the most recognised goalkeepers in Europe in the moment, and with over 150 caps to his name it seems certain that he’ll be the first choice, unless he pisses in del Bosque’s kettle leaving us with capable understudy Pepe Reina, having something of a resurgence under Rafa Benitez at Napoli this season. I’m fairly certain the two are going to merge together to create some form of super fat Spanish waiter. David de Gea is one of few success stories to come out of Man Utd’s season this year and he’ll enjoy craning his long, long neck at the back of the crowd with his children. Despite an average age of only 25, Spain’s back line is again full of recognised experience. Sergio Ramos, fresh from being A FUCKING COCKBLOCKING BASTARD after scoring late on in the Champions League final will be looking to add to his impressive red card total which sits at a meagre 93 for the season (cunt scores gols too!) and Gerard Pique will be looking forward to taking his bird Shakira back to Brazil where she can regain her place in the Brazilian ladyboy quarter of the hells angels. Raul Albiol is one of these guys that is happy to play anywhere so don’t be surprised to see him playing for Australia when Lucas Neill gets fed up and walks out when they’re 4-0 down after 10 minutes. Did anyone else forget Jordi Alba was only 25? It was only a couple of years ago that he was absolutely bossing the left side of the pitch for Spain in the Euro’s, before signing for Barcelona. He scored a last minute winner against Celtic like the #lad he is. Javi Martinez is a bloke that’s got an engine, apparently. 40 million euros for a fella with an engine isn’t a bad deal is it? Andy Carroll’s timing belt had obviously snapped by the time Liverpool came in for him. The rest aren’t very interesting and I don’t feel like writing about, especially Cesar Azpilicueta. Spain’s midfield is boring. Xavi is the enigma of betting shop staff everywhere (“how do you know his name is Hernandez? ”) who’s played more games for Spain than Kieran Dyer has played in his entire life. Is he getting on a bit now though? My favourite memory of Xabi Alonso is actually being able to score goals from outside the box, most of the time from his own box, showing Steven Gerrard up like the twat he is. Andres Iniesta should be an idol to every weedy guy with a receding hairline after being Spain’s best player over the course of the last few years, their golden generation. With these three in there 30’s, is this the time for the likes of Cesc Fabregas, Sergio Busquets, and David Silva to consign the old timers to playing football on the beach with no shoes? Fabregas still for some reason remains the darling of Arsenal fans everywhere despite selling his granny to get the fuck out of there and practice his bench sitting skills. A goal in a fifth of his games isn’t a bad return at all from last season, and it was his pass that set up Iniesta’s winner against the clog wearers in Seth Effrika. (no you can’t!) After typing this I’ve now discovered that Silva and Fabregas have 167 caps between them so forget everything I’ve said. Does anyone else get annoyed by Silva’s mole? Busquets isn’t far behind the two with an impressive number of caps, 64 at the age of 25, but he’s only known for being an honorary member of the Cristiano Ronaldo “I’ve been shot by a sniper in the face” foundation after an angry monobrowed Spanish defender has done no more than look at him. Santi Cazorla managed to complete the impossible and actually win a trophy for Arsenal with a DECE free kick which poor Steve Bruce could only respond to through the Chinese takeaway owner’s interpreter. Jesus Navas is about 8 years old, Juan Mata is the most hilariously overpriced player in the premier league this season, and who the fuck is Ander Iturraspe? Koke wins the award for most mispronounced name of the World Cup, and I sure as shit am not calling him KO KAAAAY like Adrian Chiles will be so eager to shove down everyone’s throat. Fuck Adrian Chiles. You know what? Fuck Fernando Torres as well. I’m sure he’s a lovely guy with some form of redeeming qualities, but there should be an apology made to the people that have to support him while the rest of us laugh. 20 goals in the league for Chelsea over his career isn’t good enough, and he shouldn’t start for Spain. This might be the only serious piece in the entire article. Everyone in Brazil loves Diego Costa so much that they’ve made little dolls out of him after he turned his back on the country to represent Spain. Why are they sticking pins in them though? Regardless, he’s one of Europe’s hottest properties with Chelsea close to tying up a deal for him, and we all know Chelsea’s exceptional record on great strikers eh? David Villa had a good season with Atletico Madrid alongside Costa and with plenty of international experience will be hoping to add to an exceptional goalscoring record for his country. Dat soulpatch. Barcelona are the highest represented team in the squad with Pedro and Gerard Deulofeu, the latter holding the annoying record of being the only player in the team younger than me, bolstering the attack. Alvaro Negredo is a beast. I’m surprised they still let him play football after that came out. Look what happened to Rolf Harris! I’ve ran out of witty things to write and I know very little about Fernando Llorente apart from him being a hipster favourite a few years ago. This, however, is our Spain squad. If you back them to win this year, then you’re a mug. Seriously, fuck Fernando Torres. He actually makes me angry.
This post brought to you by ic
|
|
|
Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 10:19:13 GMT
Netherlands
Arguably still the greatest footballing nation without a World Cup to their name, Oranje come into this tournament with similar ambitions to a lot of European clubs, an outside chance of success but no expectations beyond qualifying for the group stages.
Having qualified comfortably for the tournament, unbeaten in their 10 games, winning 9 and drawing 1, Netherlands were somewhat unlucky in the World Cup group stages draw picking off top European prospect and defending champions, Spain, as well as the South American sleeper pick, Chile.
Qualification will be tough, whilst they can boast one of the most experienced and yet still exciting attacking combinations in the entire tournament, they lack leaders and experience at the back. Long gone are the De Boer’s and Van Der Sar’s, this Netherlands team will have to rely on players plying their trade with mid-table Premier League sides and Eredivise sides. One potential positive is the inclusion of so many Feyenoord defenders, perhaps Van Gaal’s tactic has been to sacrifice experience for familiarity.
As well as myself, I’m sure we’ll have adopted Dutch aficionado and MVV managerial legend Germany's Top Scorer joining our resident Dutch hipster hero g7vikings on hand to wave the orange flag this summer.
The Manager
Old Trafford bound, Louis Van Gaal will soon become a household name in English football, if the experienced manager wasn’t already. About to take the reins of one of the biggest mid-table clubs in world football, Van Gaal will no doubt want to leave the international scene with some respect before he loses a couple of games and the English tabloids & fans begin to ignore his decorated CV to point out how he kinda looks like Butt-Head with wobbly Hodgson jowls.Likely Starting XI
Cillessen
Janmatt - Vlaar - de Vrij - Martins Indi
Blind
Van Der Vaart – Sneijder – Robben
Van Persie
Rest of the Squad: Vorm, Zoet, Pieters, van Aanholt, Veltman, Verhaegh, Clasie, de Guzman, Fer, Wijnaldum, Kuyt, Huntelaar, Depay
Key Omissions: Van Gaal raised eyebrows when he dropped PSG left-back, Gregory Van Der Wiel (perhaps more evidence he’s going for familiarity over ability), he also left out talented young defenders Jetro Willems and Jeffrey Bruma, young Chelsea midfielder Marco Van Ginkel as well as Jermain Lens and Siem De Jong. Experienced defensive midfielder Nigel De Jong didn't make the cut, nor did Newcastle's Tim Krul. But the biggest loss could be the exciting Kevin Strootman, who misses out through injury.
Key Player: Many will argue the case for Arjen Robben, and for certain the winger will have the highest expectations placed on him, but if Netherlands are to progress far in the tournament, they will need the goals of likely lone front man Robin Van Persie who has had a season disrupted by injuries. He will need to find the form of the previous 2 years and take the chances supplied by the talented trio behind him if Netherlands are to make the Quarters and beyond.
Chances:
33/1 (best price)
Netherlands are definitely outsiders for this competition, it would be a push to call them dark horses but they have players capable of scoring anyone in the competition, if everything comes together, you never know. What is certain is they will bring colour, noise and excitement to the World Cup, as they always do. Oh, and sexy fans. They always bring sexy fans. This post brought to you by U R GAY
|
|
|
Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 10:19:21 GMT
CHILESquad:Goalkeepers:
Claudio Bravo (c) - 31 y.o - 78 caps - 0 goals - Real SociedadJohnny Herrera - 33 y.o - 7 caps - 0 goals - Universidad de ChileCristopher Toselli - 25 y.o - 4 caps - 0 goals - Universidad de ChileDefenders:
Gonzalo Jara - 28 y.o - 64 caps - 3 goals - Nottingham Forest Gary Medel - 26 y.o - 59 caps - 5 goals - Cardiff City Mauricio Isla - 25 y.o - 45 caps -2 goals - Juventus Marcos Gonzalez - 33 y.o - 28 caps - 2 goals - Union Espanola Eugenio Mena - 25 y.o - 23 caps - 3 goals - Santos Jose Rojas - 30 y.o - 18 caps - 1 goal - Universidad de Chile Miiko Albornoz - 23 y.o - 1 cap - 1 goal - Malmo Midfielders:Jean Beausejour - 29 y.o - 58 caps - 5 goals - Wigan Athletic Jorge Valdivia - 30 y.o - 56 caps - 4 goals - Palmeiras Arturo Vidal - 27 y.o - 53 caps - 8 goals - Juventus Carlos Carmona - 27 y.o - 42 caps - 1 goal - Atalanta Rodrigo Millar - 32 y.o - 29 caps - 2 goals - Atlas Jose Pedro Fuenzalida - 29 y.o - 22 caps - 1 goal - Colo-Colo Charles Aranguiz - 25 y.o - 19 caps - 2 goals - Internacional Marcelo Diaz - 27 y.o - 19 caps - 0 goals - Basel Felipe Gutierrez - 23 y.o - 16 caps - 1 goal - Twente Francisco Silva - 28 y.o - 11 caps - 0 goals - Osasuna Strikers:Alexis Sanchez - 25 y.o - 65 caps - 22 goals - Barcelona Eduardo Vargas - 24 y.o - 28 caps - 11 goals - Valencia Mauricio Pinilla - 30 y.o - 25 caps - 5 goals - Cagliari Fabian Orellana - 28 y.o - 24 caps - 2 goals - Celta Vigo Fixtures:13th June - 23:00 GMT - Chile v Australia in Cuiaba
18th June - 20:00 GMT - Spain v Chile in Rio de Janeiro 23rd June - 17:00 GMT - Netherlands v Chile in Sao Paulo Possible Formation:Bravo Vidal-Jara-Medel-Isla Carmona Millar Beausejour Sanchez Valdivia
With Vidal and Isla attacking down the wings. Key Player: Alexis SanchezSanchez is known to people around the world and is a key player for Barcelona. He has international pedigree for Chile having played for them at the 2010 World Cup and although he failed to score he emerged as an exciting attacking threat in Chile's attacking formation. In all fairness though in Chile's campaign they went up against 3 tough defences on their run to the Quarter-Finals, those being Spain, Switzerland and Brazil. The only goal Switzerland conceded was from Chile and of the two goals Spain conceded on route to winning it, one game from Chile, the other from Switzerland. Sanchez scored his first international competition goal for Chile in the 2011 Copa America a year late. Sanchez has had a successful club career with Barcelona so far winning 6 trophies in 3 years. Sanchez is probably Chile's second most known attacker after Marcelo Salas and he is often used as either a winger in a 4-3-3 cutting inside or as a winger in a 3-4-3 as Chile often like getting it wide.Betting Possibilities:Chile to be eliminated in the 2nd round - 5/2 Chile to finish with 4 points in the group stage - 11/4 Alexis Sanchez to finish top scorer for Chile - 11/4
This post brought to you by @shrimper
|
|
|
Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 10:19:28 GMT
|
|
ic
Starter
Adam Johnson fucks children
Posts: 4,682
Likes: 3,305
|
Post by ic on Jun 3, 2014 17:11:54 GMT
Sorry
|
|
|
Post by g7vikings on Jun 3, 2014 22:18:24 GMT
A Dutch hipster hero, U R GAY. I like it. Can't help but point out a few details though... Tim Krul, Nigel de Jong and Lens are all in the squad. Van der Wiel is a right back. And their probable, though not definite formation will be 3-5-2. Apparently they're trying a 4-4-2 diamond tomorrow night too. Very flexible side anyway. I keep getting this feeling that Spain could be the shock exit here. You usually get one big name a tournament. I don't know how they're going to get knocked out, I don't see the others beating them. I just feel like they could be at one of those "end of an era" moments.
|
|
Childish
Regular
Childish.
Posts: 1,503
Likes: 433
Team: Mančester City
|
Post by Childish on Jun 3, 2014 22:29:42 GMT
I think Chile could beat them, Holland might run them close with the 3-5-2/5-3-2 making them hard to break down. If not now then I think they'll go out to Brazil in the last 16.
Or that could be the excitement of a big team failing getting to me and their midfielders will be ridiculously good once more and they'll outclass everyone.
|
|
notpropaganda
Key Player
Eden 'Azarrrrrrrr!
Posts: 8,476
Likes: 5,702
Team: Republic of Ireland
|
Post by notpropaganda on Jun 4, 2014 0:10:31 GMT
Nah I can't see the Dutch doing anything of note tbh Come at me g7vikings
|
|
U R GAY
Regular
Posts: 2,432
Likes: 873
|
Post by U R GAY on Jun 4, 2014 14:45:18 GMT
A Dutch hipster hero, U R GAY. I like it. Can't help but point out a few details though... Tim Krul, Nigel de Jong and Lens are all in the squad. Van der Wiel is a right back. And their probable, though not definite formation will be 3-5-2. Apparently they're trying a 4-4-2 diamond tomorrow night too. Very flexible side anyway. I keep getting this feeling that Spain could be the shock exit here. You usually get one big name a tournament. I don't know how they're going to get knocked out, I don't see the others beating them. I just feel like they could be at one of those "end of an era" moments. I got dodgy info on the Netherlands squad, already changed it twice, couldn't be arsed doing it a 3rd time.
|
|
melb
Reserve
Posts: 173
Likes: 33
|
Post by melb on Jun 4, 2014 14:51:03 GMT
australia to concede the most goals australia to get under 1.5 goals australia to get 0 points
get on and around it
|
|
|
Post by g7vikings on Jun 4, 2014 17:27:03 GMT
Nah I can't see the Dutch doing anything of note tbh Come at me g7vikingsTHEY'RE GOING TO WIN THE WHOLE DAMN THING! Nah, strangely for the Dutch, they're not even fancied to get out of the group. And even if they do they aren't getting far: Brazil will probably be next. You never know though, they have a front 3 that can rival anyone. They're currently stuck between generations though, so a good showing from the youngsters in the squad is probably the most important thing for them.
|
|
#FreeBTS
Talisman
Posts: 14,818
Likes: 5,190
|
Post by #FreeBTS on Jun 4, 2014 17:27:46 GMT
Holland are going out here. Side just doesn't impress me at all, were shown up by France not long ago as well. Caught between generations. Wouldn't surprise me to see Chile top the group and we get Brazil vs Spain next round which would be class.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2014 17:38:20 GMT
Chile are not going to top the fucking group, I keep seeing that everywhere
All of this is wishful thinking in regards to the 'demise' of Spain
|
|
Бенне
Key Player
Posts: 8,748
Likes: 1,800
Team: Nottingham Forest
|
Post by Бенне on Jun 4, 2014 17:53:12 GMT
Any team with Gonzalo Jara, recently released by Forest for being not quite good enough for a mid-table championship team, playing in defence regularly will not top a group ahead of Spain, silly hipster suggestion.
|
|