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Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 11:44:22 GMT
Betting odds (to qualify); Belgium 4/7 Russia 2/1 South Korea 15/2 Algeria 28/1
Summary; What's expected to be an easy-to-predict group could also prove quite compelling. All eyes are on Belgium to see how their much-hyped team is able to perform since they've moved away from being the talented hopefuls to real contenders pressured with expectation. In truth they should qualify with ease from this group, with only an organised Russian side posing any problems. South Korea and Algeria will struggle to make an impact on the European teams here.
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Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 11:45:21 GMT
BelgiumManager
Marc Wilmots
Squad;
Thibaut Courtois Simon Mignolet Koen Casteels
Toby Alderweireld Anthony Vanden Borre Laurent Ciman Jan Vertonghen Vincent Kompany Daniel Van Buyten Thomas Vermaelen Nicolas Lombaerts
Axel Witsel Steven Defour Marouane Fellaini Nacer Chadli Moussa Dembélé
Kevin De Bruyne Dries Mertens Adnan Januzaj Eden Hazard Kevin Mirallas Romelu Lukaku Divock Origi
Fixtures; Belgium v Algeria - June 17th Belgium v Russia - June 22nd South Korea v Belgium - June 26th
Likely Formation; 4-2-3-1 Courtois vanden Borre Kompany Vertonghen Vermaelan Fellaini Witsel Hazard Januzaj Mirallas Lukaku
Key Player;
Eden Hazard Chelsea's tricky winger Eden Hazard will the one that Belgium look to for inspiration if they're to match the pre-tournament expectations this summer. Hazard was in the form of his life in the early part of the season with many people considering him in the World Class bracket due to his form and match winning performances every week. He tailed off a bit towards the end of the season, with a few injuries stopping him from getting a proper run of games and gaining some much needed form going into the tournament. The Belgian fans will be hoping he can give Lukaku plenty of tap ins cos he's shit at everything else.
Belgian Chances For The World Cup; This is the golden generation of Belgian footballers. With quality all over the pitch they're one of the pre-tournament favourites in their first major competition. I don't see them getting past the quarter finals, I don't think they're experienced enough and if they get an injury to someone like Hazard or Kompany I don't think the quality that will step in is good enough to take them far in the competition. Courtois could have a massive say as he's been one of the best keepers in the world for the 3 years he's been with Atletico. Kompany and Vertonghen are a very good centre half pairing with plenty of experience, teams will have to play well to break them down. They have a very good midfield, with Fellaini (lol shit now tho), Witsel, Hazard, Mirallas and the now Belgian born Adnan Januzaj. He's obviously only chosen them so he could go to the World Cup, be interesting to see what part of role he plays in the squad and if he gets a chance to show people what he can do (trailing legs beware). Lukaku is obviously the best striker in the world so Belgium shouldn't miss his big black friend, Benteke. I think they'll make the last 16 but that's about it.
This post brought to you by Stu
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Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 11:46:36 GMT
Just to let everyone know, after looking at the template given to do this and the team I was allocated – I thought, there is no way anyone is going to bother reading this. So I decided to go for my more preferred route when it comes to these things and follow this ideology given by Maski;Kesh is a master of writing a story that in no way relates to the subject at hand.
THE DEAD ALGERIAN:
As the gun is held to my head, I think ‘Shit. How the fuck did I get here?’ With the rack of my brain, I close my eyes and reflect ‘well that’s not a hard question at all…’
> The Algerian Civil War, December 1991: The Start and the End
Three year old me held on to the body with strength I didn’t know I possessed. Shrieks from women, shouts from men and wailing from children pulsated around me, but it all seemed to be from a different world. Or maybe that was the world, and I was somewhere else? Because what was happening couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be true. My hands were tattooed to the colour of red; the more I seemed to hold on, the further up it stained my arm. Pressing down on the gun wound didn’t seem to help as blood gurgled out of the mouth, spitting in every direction and spraying onto my shirt. I couldn’t understand why what I was doing wasn’t making any difference. I forced my lips onto the forehead of the body over and over again, “Please, I need” I remember whispering. “I won’t hit, I won’t hit anymore!” Earlier that day, I was on the receiving end of a wagging finger with the words ‘you will not hit again, do you understand?’ I do understand, and I won’t again, please, just please.
Suddenly I was being picked up from behind and carried further and further away. With all the strength and energy in my body I shouted, screamed, kicked and punched in every direction to stop it from happening. “Back, back” I screeched whilst pointing with fingers covered in tears, blood and sweat. But I wasn’t heard, not over the second rain of gunfire that circulated the area. That was the last time I ever saw my mother. Sure she was already dead when I was holding on to her, and sure the random man who picked me up and took me to safety saved my life, but that wasn’t what I wanted. He should have left me to die there, because that’s where my life and who I am ended anyway.
The words ‘you will not hit again’ echoed around my head even after all those years. “Won’t I Mother?” I thought as I kicked a man to ground and run off in the opposite direction. ‘You left me here, so you have no right to tell me what to do anymore’ was my justification. A few years after the death of my mother I found a way to channel the frustration, isolation and anger that I felt. This one time I was playing football, I was kicked in the shins. I decided to hit back, and from then I never looked back. But there were only so many fights I could get into whilst playing football. Eventually I found there were more opportunities at an actual football game, one where I was a supporter. As I grew older my following became more and more prominent and before I knew it, I was, following the Algerian football team all around. I mean I do love the sport, and the team, but with the added incentive of scrapping with the opposition also there, I was in my element.
My life as it is now, with a gun to my head is all because of the 2014 FIFA World Cup. Being a pivotal period in my life, I remember the details of the football leading up to it better than the drama and fights I was getting into during. Our qualification to the tournament was one of ups and downs. We’d won 5 of the 6 initial games in our group to reach the playoffs. Our form was great leading into it, but we lost the first leg 3-2. A fucking late penalty ensured our loss, I remember spitting in disgust at that end of that game, didn’t even have the heart to look for a fight. We did battle to a 1-0 win in the next leg though, went through on away goals. Fair to say, I was on top form that night.
Back to now, and the inevitable coming of the end of my life, and I can’t think of anything else. You’d think it would be about what actually got me in this mess. But no, it’s all about the Algerian football team at the time. I think and I think: We had Belgium 17th June in our group, Russia26th June and South Korea22nd June too. I remember going on this online forum whilst in the airport waiting for my flight, and there were these bunch of Soccer Nerds online laughing at one of our players Nabil Bentaleb, but he turned out to be one of the stars of the competition. The joke was on them I guess. With the rock at the back that was Madjid Bougherra (and scorer that got us to the World Cup); flamboyant and exciting midfielder Medhi Lacen setting up Islam Slimani in attack we were ready to really surprise at the World Cup. I remember in our first game when…’ARGH’ I groan as reality hits me again, ‘I’ve a fucking gun to my head’ as it is further pressed towards my skull.
Here I am talking Four – Four – Fucking Two when that’s about how many minutes I’ve got left. If there’s time I’ll tell what happened to me to during World Cup that got me here. And if I ever get out of it, I might even let you know how we did in the World Cup.
Maybe Mother was right. I probably should have kept that promise to never hit again. I did hit, and here I am talking to myself about nothing in particular. Some way to end it, eh? Four-Four-Fucking Two.Kesh is 100% responsible for this post
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Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 11:48:31 GMT
RUSSIA The Democratic People's Republic of Russia, discovered in 1835 by the famous traveler and captain of the Santa Maria, John Moscow, has quickly become a powerhouse in many sporting disciplines over the course of the last century. Aside from professional punchist twins Vladimir and Witali Klitschko and the world shreiking champion, Maria Sharapova, who is best known for having registered an impressive 113 decibels during the great bellow off of Wimbledon 2006, perhaps the most famous sportsman in Russian history is a dog named Laika. In 1957 Laika become an icon in both Russian and canine culture by winning the race to become Earth's first spacefaring species for all dogkind after being fired into orbit in a giant cannon affectionatly nicknamed Yuri. Laika's wife was unavailable for comment on account of being a dog. And dead.
A Klitschko poses for a photo with a small child However, one sport the nation of vodka and homosexual flamboyance has so far failed to figure out is the beautiful game™ itself. The perennial dark horses and even perennialler underachivers will go into the World Cup on a high after securing the marquee signing of Crimea. Vladimir Putin was quick to take advantage of FIFA's new international transfer rule and the Ukranians should prove a valuable asset during this years tournament while other countries squabble over a bunch of Argentinian farmers and some rock in the mediterranean. Putin, who won presidency of the country in 2001 after emerging victoious in the 63rd annual hunger games, said of the aquisition; "them fuckin Ukranian bastards will think twice next time they decide to sponsor Davey instead of me". Yuri, incidentally, has recently been repurposed as the hunger games death cannon of doom and misery. Vladimir of the great house Putin rides into battle on a horse from Siberia The fanatical supporters of Russia FC will be hoping for a reappearance on the face of the Earth of Andrey Arshavin, who may or may not be deceased or worse, retired. The midget magician played a key role the last time Russia made any impression on a tournament during EURO A While Ago when he and former Jew Roman Pavlyuchenko fired their side into the semi finals. Unfortunately that was to be end of the road for Sbornaya as they were then spanked by a resurgent Spain in a tournament also famous for Daniel Guiza and being the scene of Fernando Torres' last goal.
"Andrey, what the fuck ever happened to Daniel Guiza?" Star striker Vladimir Makarov has flourished during the qualifiers under the guidance of manager Imran Zakhaev. While some critics find his win at all costs attitude questionable, Makarov has proved instrumental during wins over France, Germany, Soap and Gaz. Meanwhile as the rest of the world worres about the outbreak of World War III, the likes of Zhirkov, Kerzkahov and Konoplyanka will be relishing the prospect of testing their skills in the soon to be renamed Rio Ski Janeirov. Just remember, no Russian. FixturesRussia v South Korea (17 Jun) Belgium v Russia (22 Jun) Algeria v Russia (26 Jun) Actual SquadIgor Akinfeev (GK) Yury Lodygin (GK) Sergey Ryzhikov (GK) Vasili Berezutskiy (DF) Vladimir Granat (DF) Andrey Eshchenko (DF) Sergey Ignashevich (DF) Alexey Kozlov (DF) Dmittry Kombarov (DF) Andrey Semenov (DF) Georgi Schennikov (DF) Denis Glushakov (MF) Igor Denisov (MF) Alan Dzagoev aka Jimmy from Quadrophenia(MF) Yury Zhirkov (MF) Alexey Ionov (MF) Pavel Mogilevets (MF) Alexander Samedov (MF) Victor Faizulin (MF) Oleg Shatov (MF) Roman Shirokov (MF) Maxim Kannunikov (FW) Alexander Kerzakhov (FW) Alexander Kokorin (FW) This post brought to you by sween
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Post by The Quito Diet on Jun 3, 2014 11:49:18 GMT
With Alex Ferguson’s favourite lapdog Ji-Sung Park retired from football, South Korea’s team will be going to Brazil heavily under the radar at 400/1 outsiders. A change of manager following qualification makes them an ‘unknown quantity’ according to Jonathan Wilson, which presumably knows more about this crowd than I do. They do however have an accomplished group of young players that have been given a very reasonable draw in Brazil. They come up against a Russian team that is notoriously bad travellers, an Algerian side who Alan Shearer still knows nothing about and the Lukaku Experience +10 who are certain to win the World Cup. Nevertheless, second place in the group is up for grabs especially if they perform like they did at the 2012 Olympics when their high pressure-game led them to an impressive bronze medal. On this run they defeated Great Britain, naturally enough on penalties. It’s still highly unlikely that they’ll make the waves that they did in the 2002 World Cup. Here they made the semi-finals mainly down to dodgy refereeing but also because of Gus Hiddink’s uncanny ability to get any team to the semi-finals. The golden generation included players such as sweeper Hong Myung-Bo, who is now their manager and Ahn Jung-Hwan, who was later sacked by Perugia for having the audacity to score against the country where he played football. Their greatest ever player is called Cha Bum-kun. Mr Bum’s decent scoring record in Germany in the 80s of course deservedly gives him a higher overall rating than Cristiano Ronaldo on FIFA. Park Chu-Young is in their forward line so by PES6 logic, he shall be leading South Korea to a final showdown with his long-time best striker in the world rival Alan Smith. Back in reality, he’s only played one game for Arsenal which is a bit harsh but he must be dreadful in training. Other players that are recognisable from playing in England are Ji Dong-Won known for scoring the winner against City for Sunderland, Kim Bo-Kyung known for playing for Cardiff, Lee Chung-Yong known for being in the same team as Stuart Holden and Ki Sung-Yueng known for being quite a good footballer. Ki will be one of their main threats as well as star forward Son Heung-Min, son of Heung-Min. The 21-year old from Leverkusen has impressed in the Bundesliga. Other ‘unknown quantities’ are Lee Keun-Ho, Ha Dae-Sung and Kwak Tae-Hwi because I don’t know who they are. Their tactics are likely to be 4-2-3-1, 4-4-2 or 4-3-3 but the manager has not entirely ruled out that they will use 3-4-3, 3-5-2 or 4-1-2-1-2. They like to play it short or long depending on the situation. Sometimes they play it wide but sometimes they also play it centrally. This post brought to you by Mycon
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sween
Key Player
Posts: 8,074
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Team: sunderland
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Post by sween on Jun 3, 2014 17:10:50 GMT
bring it
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ic
Starter
Adam Johnson fucks children
Posts: 4,682
Likes: 3,305
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Post by ic on Jun 3, 2014 17:18:50 GMT
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Post by Maskya Yoshida on Jun 3, 2014 17:20:18 GMT
I didn't do that write up IC
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ic
Starter
Adam Johnson fucks children
Posts: 4,682
Likes: 3,305
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Post by ic on Jun 3, 2014 17:53:39 GMT
Well it looked like maski to me
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Post by Maskya Yoshida on Jun 3, 2014 20:17:35 GMT
Check again.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2014 15:32:31 GMT
hahahahaha
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cl7
Starter
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Post by cl7 on Jun 4, 2014 15:32:35 GMT
owned
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ic
Starter
Adam Johnson fucks children
Posts: 4,682
Likes: 3,305
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Post by ic on Jun 4, 2014 17:11:11 GMT
Same old Belgium, always cheating
Subhuman scum the lot of them, chocolate eating fucks
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Stu
Talisman
#SparkysOnFire
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Post by Stu on Jun 4, 2014 17:49:42 GMT
why did I get the cheats
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Бенне
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Post by Бенне on Jun 4, 2014 17:50:51 GMT
That's fucking hilarious hahaha.
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