Post by #FreeBTS on Feb 1, 2014 10:09:39 GMT
Saturday February 1st
Newcastle vs Sunderland 12:45
West Ham vs Swansea 12:45
Cardiff vs Norwich 15:00
Everton vs Aston Villa 15:00
Fulham vs Southampton 15:00
Hull vs Tottenham 15:00
Stoke vs Man United 15:00
Sunday February 2nd
West Brom vs Liverpool 13:00
Arsenal vs Crystal Palace 16:00
Monday February 3rd
Man City vs Chelsea 20:00
Everyone over the excitement of deadline day now? BT Sport have chose to put on West Ham vs Swansea over the Tyne-Wear derby. It's almost definitely not that simple but it's still fucking ridiculous. For the first time in a long time this isn't actually both sides' cup final as Sunderland went and ruined it by discovering the meaning of cup final, while Newcastle seem to invent new excuses as to why the cups aren't a priority every year. I think the FA Cup fourth round fell on Joe Kinnears cousin's birthday or something this year, so what can you do?
Everyone probably hopes West Ham keep scraping the occasional result to keep Allardyce in the job just long enough to see them down, including the media, who would surely be baffled as to who to support with both West Ham and 'Arry's QPR in the league next year. Swansea should have new signings David N'Gog and Marvin Emnes available LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. There's no way watching us and the mackems kick lumps out of eachother is less appealing than this.
Cardiff vs Norwich elicits the generic 'Best league in the world? LOL' response it deserves.
Everton unfortunately had Chelsea's striker injured by Man City's midfielder in midweek, but luckily have Monaco's striker to come in and deputise. After a couple of encouraging performances it's probably time for Villa to suffer a demoralising defeat. Or win 4-0. Either way, they'll improve next year when their young squad has another year's experience under their belts. (copied and pasted from 2011)
Fulham have ruined everyone's fun by getting rid of the world's most laconic frontline in Ruiz, Taarabt and Berbatov, and getting in players who aren't as likely to be seen sharing a fag on the halfway line. Southampton stubbornly refuse to entertain everyone by being in turmoil despite boardroom unrest and maverick strikers nutting their own teammates. Basically these two teams are massive killjoys and you shouldn't watch this match on MOTD in protest.
This is usually about the time during one of these write-ups that I get really bored and it shows in the discourse. Crisis club Tottenham, with pre-season aspirations of a Champions League place, sit 3 points off a Champions League place. Hull have basically became a vehicle for Steve Bruce's nepotism, and it wouldn't be funny at all if an Alex Bruce own goal set them down in May.
The best thing about this season has been the fact that every time Man United look like turning a corner, they slump to another hilarious defeat. If there is a god, we'll take 3-0 Stoke and a season-ending injury to Juan Mata please. Mark Hughes continues his Stoke revolution by being not quite as good as Tony Pulis, and trying to sign Lee Cattermole, which definitely doesn't easily lend itself to 'CHANGING TACTICS YEAH MARK? LOL' jokes.
West Brom are just about pushing in front of Norwich for the title of 'least interesting team in the league', but at least 4-3 defeats should see them get lots of nice pats on the head as they slide out the league. I'll try and keep my obvious hatred for Liverpool out of this, but depending on this result, they'll either be title-challengers or lucky to survive come May. I just can't keep up.
Stuttering performances? Underwhelming transfer window? Injuries to key players? It's that time of year again, here comes the yearly Arsenal collapse! Expect an 8-game losing streak, before still scraping into 4th ahead of Tottenham based on alphabetical order. Sorry Spurs fans. You'll probably be able to make out TROLOLOLOLOLOL on Tony Pulis' face if Palace come away with something here.
How on earth is anyone meant to get excited about a Mourinho side going away to another title contender anymore? When fucking Man City are the lesser of two evils you know it's bad. Man City will win, Mike will say something that everyone will jump on and a title race that was shaping up quite nicely will fizzle out into absolutely nothing as City win the title by double figures. And Newcastle vs Sunderland still won't be on telly.
Everyone probably hopes West Ham keep scraping the occasional result to keep Allardyce in the job just long enough to see them down, including the media, who would surely be baffled as to who to support with both West Ham and 'Arry's QPR in the league next year. Swansea should have new signings David N'Gog and Marvin Emnes available LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. There's no way watching us and the mackems kick lumps out of eachother is less appealing than this.
Cardiff vs Norwich elicits the generic 'Best league in the world? LOL' response it deserves.
Everton unfortunately had Chelsea's striker injured by Man City's midfielder in midweek, but luckily have Monaco's striker to come in and deputise. After a couple of encouraging performances it's probably time for Villa to suffer a demoralising defeat. Or win 4-0. Either way, they'll improve next year when their young squad has another year's experience under their belts. (copied and pasted from 2011)
Fulham have ruined everyone's fun by getting rid of the world's most laconic frontline in Ruiz, Taarabt and Berbatov, and getting in players who aren't as likely to be seen sharing a fag on the halfway line. Southampton stubbornly refuse to entertain everyone by being in turmoil despite boardroom unrest and maverick strikers nutting their own teammates. Basically these two teams are massive killjoys and you shouldn't watch this match on MOTD in protest.
This is usually about the time during one of these write-ups that I get really bored and it shows in the discourse. Crisis club Tottenham, with pre-season aspirations of a Champions League place, sit 3 points off a Champions League place. Hull have basically became a vehicle for Steve Bruce's nepotism, and it wouldn't be funny at all if an Alex Bruce own goal set them down in May.
The best thing about this season has been the fact that every time Man United look like turning a corner, they slump to another hilarious defeat. If there is a god, we'll take 3-0 Stoke and a season-ending injury to Juan Mata please. Mark Hughes continues his Stoke revolution by being not quite as good as Tony Pulis, and trying to sign Lee Cattermole, which definitely doesn't easily lend itself to 'CHANGING TACTICS YEAH MARK? LOL' jokes.
West Brom are just about pushing in front of Norwich for the title of 'least interesting team in the league', but at least 4-3 defeats should see them get lots of nice pats on the head as they slide out the league. I'll try and keep my obvious hatred for Liverpool out of this, but depending on this result, they'll either be title-challengers or lucky to survive come May. I just can't keep up.
Stuttering performances? Underwhelming transfer window? Injuries to key players? It's that time of year again, here comes the yearly Arsenal collapse! Expect an 8-game losing streak, before still scraping into 4th ahead of Tottenham based on alphabetical order. Sorry Spurs fans. You'll probably be able to make out TROLOLOLOLOLOL on Tony Pulis' face if Palace come away with something here.
How on earth is anyone meant to get excited about a Mourinho side going away to another title contender anymore? When fucking Man City are the lesser of two evils you know it's bad. Man City will win, Mike will say something that everyone will jump on and a title race that was shaping up quite nicely will fizzle out into absolutely nothing as City win the title by double figures. And Newcastle vs Sunderland still won't be on telly.
