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Post by The Quito Diet on Dec 13, 2017 16:54:50 GMT
Mike Germany's Top Scorer would be someone to speak to if you end up looking at private, he had some help for me for where to look although I ended up going through NHS for support I'm the same in that I didn't want to try medication and I've avoided anti depressants so far, only beta blockers to ward off panic attacks which don't seem to do much for me. Won't share my experiences of it all as I'm a unique enough example but if you can try and get an urgent appointment to see the GP before Christmas I'd push for it. They've been the best people I've seen anyway. I've got some old paperwork with helpful links on I'll send over once I've dug them out that may prove handy too. Fair play for getting over the first big hurdle though, it's easy enough to think it's something that will just go away over time and keep putting it off and to be fair I'm sort of in and out of that stage myself, but once you've acknowledged the problem it's easier to get the help for it.
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Exonerator
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Post by Exonerator on Dec 13, 2017 18:05:37 GMT
Cheers for that jaffers, I appreciate it. I'm based in Belfast so not sure that MIND is here. Next available appointment with my GP is in the new year so I'll get Christmas over with (a notoriously easy time when you're having MH issues right?!) and go from there. I don't like the idea of medication at all, I understand that they can be hugely beneficial and helpful but I would much rather go a route of talking it out or trying to figure things out rather than start with medication. I have an addictive personality (I think) so I'm just scared of having another thing that I'll lean on. There's an awful lot of shit that's happened and just things that I've realised this year and I just dunno how to process it or understand any of it. I end up in destructive patterns and hate myself for it. This has happened to me before but never for such a prolonged period and I guess one good thing from the likes of Twitter is that I've seen so many people talk about their problems it's made me realise that until I get help I'll just be in this cycle continuously and maybe I'll get worse and worse because I never addressed it. Anyway I've been building up to this and the anxiety from even trying to google "how do I get help for my mental health" was overwhelming. So cheers. Being that you're in Belfast I would definitely recommend going private. NHS waiting lists are bad enough in mainland UK, never mind Northern Ireland.
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Post by you give me rrrroad rrrrage on Dec 13, 2017 21:47:56 GMT
Cheers for that jaffers, I appreciate it. I'm based in Belfast so not sure that MIND is here. Next available appointment with my GP is in the new year so I'll get Christmas over with (a notoriously easy time when you're having MH issues right?!) and go from there. I don't like the idea of medication at all, I understand that they can be hugely beneficial and helpful but I would much rather go a route of talking it out or trying to figure things out rather than start with medication. I have an addictive personality (I think) so I'm just scared of having another thing that I'll lean on. There's an awful lot of shit that's happened and just things that I've realised this year and I just dunno how to process it or understand any of it. I end up in destructive patterns and hate myself for it. This has happened to me before but never for such a prolonged period and I guess one good thing from the likes of Twitter is that I've seen so many people talk about their problems it's made me realise that until I get help I'll just be in this cycle continuously and maybe I'll get worse and worse because I never addressed it. Anyway I've been building up to this and the anxiety from even trying to google "how do I get help for my mental health" was overwhelming. So cheers. First of really sorry to hear what you're going through mate. Mental health issues can be an absolute bitch and no-one deserves them. Idk if I've mentioned on here before but I'm a veteran of 2 and a half years of private therapy so I'll try to add my two cents about my own personal experiences navigating healthcare with mainly anxiety and a bit of depression thrown in when I'm really in the shitter (can't speak for anyone else). Regarding your GP appointment I would definitely advise getting seen by a doctor before anything else if it is at all possible. Do you know if the practice you're registered at runs emergency on-the-day appointments? For mine, you have to call up at 8am sharp (start repeat dialling at 7.58am) to get in. They usually get booked up within 15mins or so you have to be quick. You get a choice of a phone or walk-in appointment at some point during the day. If you manage to secure one DO NOT miss it as it can be grounds to take you off the register. Appointments are typically brief (10mins, 15 if you’re lucky) and they can seem incredibly impersonal depending on the doctor but try not to take it to heart. They have a lot of people to see and that’s just the system. Bearing that in mind, if you’re up to it try to prepare a crib sheet of your key symptoms, how long you’ve had them, and what you immediately need help with (in terms of just functioning day-to-day if that makes sense). You can easily get tongue tied and distracted in the appointment and it goes incredibly quickly so this should hopefully keep you on track if you get distracted. Also, if you have someone you trust around you that you can tell this stuff to, ask them if they don’t mind coming with you to the appointment even if it’s just for moral support. They can actually sit in the consultation with you (I got my mum to come with me one time when I was in a really bad way). Only do this if you feel comfortable to but it can be a really important bit of extra support. I’ve never been on meds but my doctor also never recommended them for my particular symptoms. I was signed off work. That’s not to say they should be poo-pooed off the bat, especially if they are recommended by a medical professional. They should be clear with you about any risks or potential side effects. Further than that I can’t really comment but others may be able to. Regarding counsellors, psychotherapists etc. most places have their own local directory. The one I found for Belfast is in the link below. Each practitioner has a profile which will tell you what they specialise in. I'm not really an expert on their terminology but there will be ones that use CBT as a technique and ones that use other stuff (most will use a mixture). I can't lie. Sessions are expensive (about £50-£60 a pop in London). But you will get seen far quicker than in the NHS, which I think limits the number of sessions even when you are referred, so you can explore your issues in more depth and at your own pace if you go down the private route. Also, you can't put a price on your health. My advice would be that if you're up to it try to get a shortlist together of 2 or 3 of the profiles you think suit your needs best and give them each a call to see who you vibe with before agreeing to meet anyone. I have to admit that when I had to do this I only managed to pluck up the courage to call one lady and the thought of speaking to anyone else was too terrifying at the time so I just ended up plumping for her. By luck she ended up being a decent fit, especially for the first year or so but speaking to friends this isn't always the case, so even once you've made a decision don't be afraid to change to someone else if the sessions aren't working for YOU. www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/counsellors-in-belfastSorry, I know all of this is a shit ton of info and it can seem a bit overwhelming right now so sorry for that, but if you want to chat through anything at that I have explained badly or haven’t explained at all feel free to DM me. All the best mate (and I really mean that).
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notpropaganda
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Post by notpropaganda on Jan 18, 2018 15:44:04 GMT
Had my first session with a counsellor last night, it went ok and I’m signed up for 6 sessions but she said we’ll review week to week, no obligation to do all 6 or I could do more if needed.
Thanks for all the advice in here folks (Y)
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Post by ange postecoslamp on May 31, 2018 6:36:32 GMT
Did it. Walked away last night.
Hardest thing I've ever done but the relief today is huge
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2018 9:34:19 GMT
I think the run I’ve been on lately of terrible luck, getting absolutely nowhere in terms of women and other stuff out of my control has put me in a dark place. I had, for the first time in my life yesterday, suicidal thoughts. I’m constantly down and a situation with a girl I work with hasn’t helped.
I’ve been in love with this girl for about a year and we’ve been really good friends for around 3. The other night I was out with some other friends and she was there too. In the past every move I’ve made has been shot down but on this night, she made a move. But then, in the taxi home, she tells me not to expect anything from her because she’s got a lot of issues, so we end up going out separate ways because she thought invited me to hers was something she “wanted to do, but would’ve been a mistake”. So the next day I text her, first just to make sure she got home safe and then to see if she meant anything she did and apparently she knew, but only did it because she was drunk, which crushed me a bit tbh.
I think it’s a case of my own crippling lack of self confidence stemming from being a chubby teenager with no social skills whatsoever that’s left me in this hole where I’m pretty much only looking at her, and no one. But at the same time this belief that we’d be great together, and she even admitted there’s something between us, but that doesn’t want to find out what it is.
I’m obviously not gonna kill myself, I’m far too much of a coward to ever do that but I haven’t felt this low before and it sucks.
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Post by you give me rrrroad rrrrage on May 31, 2018 10:33:16 GMT
I think the run I’ve been on lately of terrible luck, getting absolutely nowhere in terms of women and other stuff out of my control has put me in a dark place. I had, for the first time in my life yesterday, suicidal thoughts. I’m constantly down and a situation with a girl I work with hasn’t helped. I’ve been in love with this girl for about a year and we’ve been really good friends for around 3. The other night I was out with some other friends and she was there too. In the past every move I’ve made has been shot down but on this night, she made a move. But then, in the taxi home, she tells me not to expect anything from her because she’s got a lot of issues, so we end up going out separate ways because she thought invited me to hers was something she “wanted to do, but would’ve been a mistake”. So the next day I text her, first just to make sure she got home safe and then to see if she meant anything she did and apparently she knew, but only did it because she was drunk, which crushed me a bit tbh. Sorry to hear that. I know it probs doesn't help right now but feelings are weird and awkward and no matter how hard you try you can't control or predict how another person is going to react. Literally the most important thing is you're an A1 decent bloke and you didn't do anything wrong. This is only my experience but waiting for someone to "pick you" and putting everything on hold for them hasn't ever really worked out well. Like if they haven't figured out what a catch you are in that amount of time you kind of have to take it as their loss and move on. If you can take up a hobby (it can be anything random that you always wanted to try but never got round to) just for your own personal growth and fun. It takes your mind off things and you could meet new people. Also, side point but it doesn't help that society puts so much stock in being a relationship being inherently better than being single, which is complete bs imo (girls have figured this out quicker than guys). Lastly, if there's people you know who you can trust and chat through this stuff with deffo do that, however hard the first step might be. gl m8
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Exonerator
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Post by Exonerator on May 31, 2018 11:01:46 GMT
Did it. Walked away last night. Hardest thing I've ever done but the relief today is huge Controlling relationship? Fucking bravo if so. I would likely still be in my mess of a one if it wasn't for her student visa running out.
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ic
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Post by ic on May 31, 2018 17:27:23 GMT
This is going to sound ridiculous and I feel like a proper melt, but I'm pretty sure I just had a panic attack at the dentists. She's just had a poke about, taken some X rays and then says she might have to take one of my fillings out and put a new one in. Getting them in was absolutely horrible years ago and thinking about it, I proper started sweating, heart racing and felt like I was going to pass out. Had to sit while the (fit) dentist assistant gave me water and consoled me
How the fuck do people survive like this, and how do people manage this
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Post by The Quito Diet on May 31, 2018 18:48:24 GMT
If you find out, let me know.
Anxiety currently ruining my life. New medication is great at helping me sleep but I'm now getting little peaks of absolute dread and panic over the most mundane of things.
Keep pushing through with things and haven't let it stop me from doing anything but it feels like it's getting worse.
Definitely become blasé to dying too which I guess is a slippery slope to be on. Wouldn't ever do anything stupid like but I'm sure others have said that.
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Olivier
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Post by Olivier on Jun 1, 2018 7:56:54 GMT
Been suffering pretty badly with anxiety this last week. My mum has had a bad back for a few weeks and it got to the point where she needed to go to hospital. After running loads of scans and tests she's been diagnosed with cancer - with a growth on her spine which has been causing the pain. Found that out on Saturday and on Tuesday she was scheduled to get an operation to remove the growth which would relieve the pain and also let them test it and find out what kind of cancer it is and what they can do about it. Then some fucking junior anesthetist throws doubt on Monday night about whether she would even be able to have the operation - leaving her in bedridden and unable to find out how to tackle the cancer. Worry, stress and anxiety levels were already high and went through the roof. Turns out she got the op on Tuesday but after Saturday being the worst day of my life so far that period Mon-Tuesday until she was out of the op and recovering topped it in quick succession.
Now she's in post-op recovery but it's a really weird feeling. Anytime she has visitors people are all talking like she's now recovering as if thing will be back to normal. My gran who has health problems of her own and would have taken a giant effort to get her in to see my mum was even in, so people know how serious the situation is but once they're in nobody is talking like they do. "You'll be on your feet and home in a few days" and shit. Well yes but she still has fucking cancer. We've still got the results from the biopsy to come back so I'm sitting here preparing for worst day of my life Pt.3 fearful that Pt.4 won't be long after.
Overwhelming emotion through this whole thing has been anxiety. Never experienced anything like it before and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sitting with a pit on your stomach, losing breath and shit.
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Post by daveyposhboy on Jun 1, 2018 21:27:17 GMT
I always think generosities are proper wank but I do sincerely hope you're okay Olivier mate, and yr fam. I feel (and by default of my age, the rest of the forum) like like we are all quite lucky now that most will pipe up for another. It is a shite thing, getting to the point where we consider our parents like that; hope you don't have to think of it too much, or that if it does weigh on ya, you know you know you have somewhere where you can start swinging x
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Post by Maskya Yoshida on Jun 1, 2018 21:49:53 GMT
I've got some understanding of how you're feeling. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer about this time last year. Thankfully it was caught early so they could remove the prostate and the cancer, and touch wood everything seems back to normal now. But those first couple of months were horrible, and as cliché as it is you've got to be positive for them.
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sween
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Post by sween on Jun 1, 2018 23:09:13 GMT
I actually dont know how I’m gonna cope when either of my parents kick the bucket
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2018 23:14:06 GMT
It isn’t half a horrible thought knowing it’s inevitable as well.
Selfishly, I hope I go before they do. But I know it’d affect them just as badly, if not worse.
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