Premier LeagueLOL... I was prepared to give Moyes until the new year before starting to really give a fuck about results as long as he kept us in and around the top 5-6 places. Got worse after the new year with some truly embarassing performances. I've lost count of how many false dawns theres been this season.
FA CupLOL
Capital One CupWe beat Liverpool 1-0 at OT (which feels an eternity ago now).. DDG makes his only real mistake of the season and costs us a final place where we'd have been crucified by the trillionaire's club.
UEFA Champions LeagueGenuinely thought this would be where Moyes would fuck up this season and doubted he'd get us out of the group stages. The only really really really REALLY bad result being that 2-0 loss @ Olympiakos which pretty much sealed his inevitable future sacking. That was by far the worst showing I've seen by Utd in Europe... We've played kids and second stringers in dead rubber group games and come out better despite losing.
FA Community ShieldBeat a team lead by a diddy manager
PLAYERZ LOLDavid De Gea - Literally the only guy who escapes any criticism this season. The only player from the senior squad whos improved from last season
Anders Lindegaard - Chances more limited by cautious Moyes. Still steady and decent for back-up
Rafael - His mentalist ways are creeping back in. Injured frequently
Phil Jones - Annoyingly gets injured as hes about to go on a run of form. Never use as RB. CDM is fine. Probably going to be a CB.
Chris Smalling - Annoyingly gets injured as hes about to go on a run of form. Never use as RB. Awesome at CB.
Jonny Evans - Annoyingly get injured as hes about to go on a run of form. Errors creeping back in.
Patrice Evra - Getting on with age. Utd fans know he can't cross well so why was Moyes making him do it? Converting him into Baines or something?
Nemanja Vidic - Getting on with age. Error prone. Annoyingly still gets played despite knowing hes fucking off to Inter Milan next season.
Rio Ferdinand - Getting on with age. Able to put in a good performance every once in a while.
Alex Buttner - Someone needs to make him a left midfielder/winger. He can make decent offensive moves but can't defend at all.
Ryan Giggs - Limited time due to coaching. Put in his usual 1-2 great games he does now. His fate is in LVG's hands
Michael Carrick - baaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd... new CM please
Tom Cleverley - not Utd standard and will have to settle for squad place if staying... Interested in how LVG will perceive him. I imagine LVG will like working with a player like him for some reason
Darren Fletcher - great to see him playing but nowhere near good enough anymore.
Marouane Fellaini - loves an elbow or two, clumsy, gives away possession for fun (see Bayern @ OT)
Adnan Januzaj - literally the boy who saved our bacon around October-December time, burned out in the new year and made decent cameos thereafter
Juan Mata - a cream-your-pants signing yet Moyes shifts him to wide-right initially? Play him at No.10 and things happen
Nani - signs five year contract in September 2013 and almost never gets seen again...Mediocre when he appeared
Ashley Young - baaaaaaaaaddddddddddd
Antonio Valencia - baaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddd
Shinji Kagawa - Hardly ever played until the last third of the season. Plays well with Mata and Rooney though
Wayne Rooney - Bright spots here and there particularly at the start of the season but as per usual injury knocks him out of sync and takes time to get back into form
Robin van Persie - Bright spots here and there. Got injured for the first time in ages and we missed him.
Danny Welbeck - Bright at the mid-point of the season... Able to play the attacking midfielder/winger role competently too so he'll be our Thomas Muller hopefully
Javier Hernandez - Chances reduced by cautious Moyes. Probably going in the summer. Very good at the scoring aspects and not so elsewhere... basically the second coming of F.Inzaghi
David MoyesI have prepared a concise timeline of my feelings for him in his 10 month reigns. I have also provided a tl;dr section below it.
{The Super Duper Moyes Timeline}I was briefly excited about the new manager hunt at Utd (whilst sad at Fergie's retirement) and wondered who was going to be next. I saw Moyes' name mentioned and dismissed it in hope that it wouldn't happen as I have an Everton mate who was starting to get sick of him... Moyes was appointed. I imagine 80% of Utd fans probably sighed initially at this appointment (like me admittedly) as David Moyes is associated with boring football and was known as a bit of bottler on big occasions. I convinced myself that maybe he needed a change and that he'd be more adventurous and aggressive when he's given a budget and better players...
The summer transfer window happens... He wants Baines which he couldn't get. He wants Fabregas and gets lead up the garden path. He wants Fellaini and ends up paying almost £30m. He fucks around on deadline day with Herrera and Coentrao and we don't get them. Was it Woody fucking it up two months into his new CEO position or did Dithering Dave (as Everton fans call him due to hesistancy with transfers) come through and fuck it all up? Did he pass on signing Thiago Alcantara and Kevin Strootman that Fergie's scouts had identified because he wasn't sure? We'll probably never know... so we move onto the season.
"I think it's the hardest start for 20 years that Manchester United have had. I hope it's not because Manchester United won the league quite comfortably last year (that) the fixtures have been made much more difficult. I find it hard to believe that's the way the balls came out of the bag, that's for sure. But if it is a hard start for Manchester United, it is a hard start for everyone else because they have to play us.’’ - Yeah yeah get on with it...
Slight concern losing to WBA at home after getting pumped by City the week before. Brush it off and continue on...
First real concern and eyebrow raised following consecutive losses to Everton and Newcastle. One soulless performance at home is a rareity but two in the space of a week is somewhat worrying.
Lost to Tim Sherwoods' Spurs on NYD at home... hmmmmm
Out of the FA Cup to Swansea at home... HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Lots of false dawns in around this time
"I actually think if Sir Alex was here this year it would be difficult for Sir Alex as well, and I'm sure he'd be aware of it. I think people are aware there's a squad that is a bit more aging, so I think it would have been a tough season for probably whoever was in charge of Manchester United this year." - Excuses excuses excuses... and having a dig at the players and your predecessor who is now one of your bosses!
"I don't know what we have to do to win. We played well today." (after losing 2-1 to Stoke) - Uhhhhhh....
2-2 vs Fulham @ OT... 82 CROSSES WHAT THE FUCGDJPFSFOHFWFFRWU(R)(QRWR)_WR)_WFFJIPOJPOWPO36364eyt5hu4utju6kmtu,ltul
Lose 2-0 to Olympiakos away... Maybe he's not the right guy
Lose 3-0 to both Liverpool and City @ OT... I'm sure he's not the right guy
"Their league position suggests they are ahead of us and they possibly do come here as favorites. Liverpool are having a very good season and we will have to do everything we possibly can to beat them." (before Liverpool drubbing) - He actually said that?
"I think we've played a very good side and it's the sort of standard and level we need to try and aspire to get ourselves to at this moment in time. I think we need to play better. We're needing to come up a couple of levels at the moment and we're not quite there." (after City drubbing) - whhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttt
Lose 2-0 to Everton away... Moyes Out please
Prayers answered two-three days later
This man is not good enough or man enough to run a major football club. When he starts talking about making Utd hard to beat when Newcastle come to OT you know somethings up. As Laurent Blanc pointed out about 6 weeks ago, he'd have been sacked on at least three occasions by any other club. A romantic dream that some other guy from Glasgow who's dour would come along and be as good as Fergie. Moyes will probably get offers but undoubtedly his big club ambitions got killed after this season, especially when Utd gave him more than enough time than most clubs would (so fuck off LMA and apologists in the media). Wiped out the backroom staff completely and brought in his own people. Clumsy with words, uncharismatic, dull and just the wrong body language at a club of this stature. He seemed in awe of the players and the club itself most of the time... I'm pretty sure he said on one game he didn't want to sub RVP as he wasn't playing well because he feared the fans' reaction. We need someone with balls and charisma to manage a club like this, like his Scottish predecessor and his Dutch successor.